When Relationships Make You Sick

Rachel Rauch • February 24, 2025

How Emotional Stress Affects Your Health and How to Heal

I spent some time in Florida a couple of weeks ago. I loved the sunshine and warmth! But more than that, I loved the people I was with! Even though I injured my leg in a bike accident, I came home feeling refreshed. We laughed and cried. We took walks and sat in the sun. We listened, and we talked. We remembered God’s faithfulness as we considered the past, present, and future. We bonded even deeper as friends.

But not every relationship has that positive impact on us. The mind and body are deeply connected, and what happens in our emotions and relationships directly impacts our physical health. As women, we often carry a heavy load—caring for our families, managing our homes, and sometimes dealing with difficult relationships that drain us emotionally.

The connection between emotional and physical health.

When we experience chronic stress, especially from unhealthy relationships, it doesn’t just stay in our minds—it affects our entire body. God designed us as whole beings, where our thoughts, feelings, and physical health are intertwined. When we nurture peace and emotional well-being, our bodies respond positively, but when we live in constant stress, our health can suffer.

When we find ourselves in difficult relationships, our bodies perceive it as a threat. This triggers our built-in stress response, also known as the "fight-or-flight" reaction. While this response is meant to protect us in dangerous situations, when it's activated too often due to emotional strain, it leads to chronic stress. Feeling unappreciated, unheard, or constantly walking on eggshells can keep our bodies stuck in this heightened state of stress, making it difficult to relax, sleep, and even think clearly. Over time, this stress depletes our energy and makes us more susceptible to illness.

One of the biggest culprits behind these physical symptoms is cortisol, our main stress hormone. When we’re under constant stress, our bodies release too much cortisol, which can wreak havoc on our health. High cortisol levels can lead to hormone imbalances, fatigue, weight gain (especially around the belly), anxiety, irritability, and even digestive issues. Many women dealing with chronic stress from difficult relationships also struggle with irregular cycles, thyroid imbalances, and trouble sleeping—all of which can be linked back to the effects of prolonged stress on the body.

Common physical symptoms of unhealthy relationships

Take time to listen to your body. Notice how your body responds to different relationships. Do you feel relaxed or rejuvenated? Perhaps you feel encouraged and energetic. But maybe you find yourself feeling angry or hurt. Maybe you are exhausted. Maybe your stomach hurts, or you find yourself taking shallow breaths. Your body will speak through symptoms to alert you to how relationships are affecting you.

If you find yourself experiencing headaches, stomach upset, muscle tension, or other symptoms after spending time with certain people, you may want to reconsider your interactions in the future. I am not suggesting that you cut off relationships just because they are hard. Even good relationships can have difficult moments! But I always recommend that someone remove themselves from a dangerous or abusive relationship.

Breaking the Cycle and Healing

Recognizing unhealthy relationship patterns is the first step toward healing. Take time to reflect on how certain relationships make you feel. Prayerfully ask God for wisdom and clarity in identifying these patterns. Journaling your thoughts and emotions can also help you see where stress is coming from and how it’s affecting your body.

Once you’ve identified the sources of stress, it’s time to take action. Setting healthy boundaries is crucial for both emotional and physical well-being. This may mean learning to say no, limiting time with certain individuals, or seeking support from trusted friends, mentors, or a therapist. Christian counseling can provide valuable tools for navigating difficult relationships while staying true to your faith. If communication is a struggle, practicing calm, assertive conversations and expressing your needs can help foster healthier connections.

Sometimes, the relationship challenge originates within us. We can feel angry, hurt, and bitter toward someone who has offended us. Your body can respond with irritability, tight muscles, and fatigue when you are around the offender. Healing may require forgiveness—not necessarily for the other person’s benefit, but for your own peace.

Self-care is not selfish; it’s a necessity, especially for women who pour so much into others. Nourishing your body with whole foods, getting enough rest, and engaging in activities that bring joy—whether it’s taking a walk, doing something creative, or spending time with God—can help restore balance. Herbal remedies like adaptogens (such as ashwagandha or holy basil) can support the body’s stress response, while deep breathing and relaxation techniques can help lower cortisol levels. Taking small, consistent steps toward self-care can make a huge difference in how you feel physically and emotionally and prepare you for the moments when relationships are challenging.

You are not meant to live in a constant state of stress and exhaustion. God designed you for peace, joy, and a thriving life. By addressing the emotional burdens weighing you down and taking steps toward healing, you can reclaim your well-being—body, mind, and spirit. Start today by choosing one small step toward emotional and physical renewal. The journey may not always be easy, but with faith, wisdom, and intentional care, you can walk forward toward healthy relationships so your body can heal.

Feeling Anxious or Low?

By Rachel Rauch • November 5, 2025

Start with Your Gut

Finding Freedom From Anxiety

By Rachel Rauch • October 22, 2025

Three common traps (and better paths forward)

Could childhood experiences be affecting your health?

By Rachel Rauch • September 25, 2025

Is there a connection between our childhood experiences and the health challenges we face as adults? I have a scar on my knee shaped like an “H,” a reminder of my first visit to the ocean as a child. I was mesmerized by the shells along the water’s edge, so focused on picking them up that I didn’t see a huge wave coming. It rolled me over and over on the sand, and when I finally stood, my bucket of shells was empty, and my knee was bleeding, sprinkled with tiny shells and grains of sand. That moment gave me a deep respect for the sea—one that has never left me. Years later, my knee healed, but the scar remains as a visible reminder of that day. Many childhood experiences, however, leave no visible scars , yet they impact our physical and emotional bodies. We notice injuries from accidents or falls, but what about wounds that don’t heal so obviously? Experiences like bullying, losing a loved one, growing up with a caregiver who wasn’t attuned to our emotional needs, or living with chronic family stress can leave lasting imprints that influence our health as adults. The groundbreaking Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Study , first published in 1998, linked childhood trauma to adult chronic illness, mental health struggles, and even premature death. ACEs scoring 4 or more can increase risk for heart disease, diabetes, lung disease, and more—2–3 times higher than those with no ACEs. While we can’t change our childhood, we can address how trauma is stored in the body to reduce its impact. Long before chronic disease develops, trauma often shows up as: Fatigue Poor sleep Anxiety or low mood Brain fog Digestive disturbances Steps to Support Your Body in Healing Tell someone. Give voice to your pain so it doesn’t remain trapped inside your body. “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.” (Psalm 32:3, ESV) Get to know your body. Symptoms are your body’s way of signaling that it needs care. Listening and responding to these cues can help it quiet down. Work with a professional therapist. A trauma-informed therapist or coach can help you process childhood experiences, allowing your body to release long-held burdens. Move slowly and gently—honor your nervous system first to avoid re-traumatization. Prioritize rest and protein. Sleep at least 8 hours per night. During rest, your brain consolidates memories and works to heal emotional wounds. Include at least 25 grams of protein per meal to support neurological and physical repair. Consider methylation testing. This can guide your body in detoxification, hormone balance, mood regulation, and overall healing. Work with a qualified practitioner. Look for someone experienced in nervous system health, somatic exercises, and gentle, nurturing approaches that support your body without overwhelming it. Why the Nervous System Matters At the core of the ACEs findings is this: childhood trauma shapes the nervous system , which in turn impacts every other system in the body. Supporting the nervous system is essential for healing—emotionally, mentally, and physically. Many women I work with are surprised by the transformation that begins by simply addressing the nervous system. They notice: Waking up refreshed instead of exhausted Feeling peaceful instead of anxious Having energy to play with their kids instead of sitting on the sidelines Mental clarity and focus in relationships instead of numbing out on social media Emotional stability instead of feeling victimized by moods If you suspect childhood experiences may be contributing to your current health concerns, I invite you to schedule a free 45-minute consultation . We’ll talk about your health, explore what your body is trying to communicate, and determine if Wholeness Restored is the right next step for you. This is not a high-pressure call—just a chance to connect, share your story, and explore options for nurturing your body and nervous system.

Believing a Lie

By Rachel Rauch • September 17, 2025

This past winter I fell off an e-bike and injured my leg, which led to tendonitis. For a while, my mobility was so limited. I was thankful to borrow crutches from a friend, but honestly, they only made me feel more restricted. Not only did my leg refuse to cooperate, but now my arms were tied up too—I couldn’t move at my normal pace or carry things around the way I was used to. I’ll be honest: I was frustrated with my body. The tendonitis felt like an overreaction to what I thought was a simple accident. I just wanted my body to heal quickly so I could get back to normal. But the longer it dragged on, the more annoyed I felt with my body and its limitations. When was the last time you thought, “I love my body”? Yeah, me neither. And limping around on a bum leg didn’t help. But God has been working on my heart and helping me uncover a lie I’ve believed for far too long: My body is a burden instead of a blessing. I tolerate the ways it embarrasses me, I get frustrated when it interferes with my plans, and I silently judge it for not meeting cultural expectations. Can you relate, or am I the only one? Here’s the truth God has been teaching me: My body is made in His image, created to protect me. Every symptom is a signal—my body’s way of alerting me to something that needs attention. When my leg hurt, that pain was actually protecting me by slowing me down and pointing to deeper damage I didn’t realize at first. The next time you find yourself viewing your body as a burden, stop and try this: Thank God for creating you in His image with a body designed to take care of you. Honor your body by pausing to listen to what it’s trying to tell you. Respond to what you hear by taking a step to nurture it. The more comfortable you get with listening and responding to your body’s needs, the more you’ll see it as a blessing rather than a burden. Yet so often, we curse the symptoms instead of blessing the body that is doing exactly what God designed it to do—protect and care for us. As women, I think we’re especially vulnerable to this lie. We feel guilty for taking time to care for ourselves, so our bodies become “burdens” that interfere with productivity, parenting, or expectations. We grit our teeth, push through, and ignore the signals our bodies are desperately sending. This is exactly why the very first step of my signature program, Wholeness Restored , addresses the lies that hinder healing. Lies shape our beliefs, and beliefs drive our behaviors—often making us feel worse. The first of my Six Principles of Nurturing is Recognize. Healing begins when we recognize the ways our bodies have been impacted—by toxins, EMFs, past injuries, trauma, chronic stress, and emotional pain. Our bodies are trying to warn us that the burden they’re carrying isn’t sustainable, and they need help to heal. If you’re tired of seeing your body as a burden instead of a blessing, I invite you to schedule a free 45-minute consultation . During our call, I’ll listen to your health concerns and the ways your body may be trying to speak to you. Together we’ll explore whether Wholeness Restored is the next right step for your healing journey. The truth is this: if you ignore your body’s signals, it will only speak louder—because it’s determined to protect you. But you don’t have to keep living this way. Imagine instead: Waking up refreshed instead of discouraged after another sleepless night. Feeling peaceful instead of constantly anxious. Having the energy to run with your kids instead of watching from the couch. Enjoying clarity and focus in your relationships instead of numbing out on social media. Experiencing emotional stability instead of feeling controlled by your moods. You can see your body as the blessing it was created to be—when you listen to it, honor it, and nurture it. It’s time to act on truth instead of believing lies. Will you join me? Will you take that next step? If you’re ready, book your free call today —I can’t wait to talk with you!