Fight. Flight. Freeze. Fawn. What's your stress response?
Rachel Rauch • December 1, 2024
Have you ever felt your heart race during a stressful situation, experienced brain fog in the heat of a moment, or found yourself going along with something just to keep the peace? These reactions are tied to the body’s survival mechanisms: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. They often originate from past traumatic experiences or ongoing stress. Though they may help us in acute situations, chronic activation can have long-term consequences on our physical and mental health.
Let’s look at how each response impacts your body and mind—and what you can do to restore balance.
Stress responses are hardwired into us as part of the autonomic nervous system, designed to help us survive threats. These responses were critical when our ancestors faced physical dangers in the wild. However, in modern life, our stressors are often more psychological than physical—like teaching school, social conflicts, or financial concerns. Unfortunately, our bodies can’t always tell the difference.
Here’s a breakdown of the four main stress responses:
- Fight - This is an aggressive response to perceived danger, marked by anger, frustration, or the urge to confront the threat.
- Flight - This response pushes you to avoid or escape the threat, leading to behaviors such as running away or avoiding conflict altogether.
- Freeze - When neither fight nor flight seems viable, the body may become immobilized. This can show up as indecision, dissociation, or feeling stuck.
- Fawn - This response involves people-pleasing or appeasing the threat, often sacrificing personal needs to avoid conflict or gain approval.
While these responses are essential for survival in short bursts, they take a toll when activated repeatedly or chronically. Let’s dive into the effects each has on your health.
1. The Fight Response and Its Health Implications
When you’re in fight mode, the body gears up for a confrontation. Adrenaline and cortisol levels spike, causing your heart to race and muscles to tense up. You are ready for action!
Physical health impacts of that are:
- Insomnia: It is hard to sleep when your body is primed to fight!
- Muscle tension and headaches:
- Digestive issues: Blood flow is diverted away from digestion, potentially leading to conditions like irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).
And the Mental health impacts include:
- Chronic anger and irritability: If you're always in fight mode, it can lead to burnout, anxiety, or depression.
- Difficulty in relationships: Constant conflict or defensiveness can alienate loved ones, creating isolation or loneliness.
2. The Flight Response and Avoidance Patterns
In flight mode, your body’s focus is on escaping, whether physically or emotionally. While it may seem safer to avoid situations, constantly running from stress can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Physical health impacts of that are:
- Poor sleep again: Similar to the fight response, chronic activation of the flight response keeps your body ramped up, unable to relax to sleep.
- Fatigue: The constant state of alertness can lead to adrenal fatigue and poor sleep, where your body is depleted from the never-ending need to “run away.”
And the Mental health impacts include:
- Anxiety disorders: Avoidance can lead to social isolation, reinforcing anxiety and making the stressor seem even larger.
- Procrastination and perfectionism: Constant avoidance can create a cycle of procrastination, making it harder to accomplish tasks and exacerbating stress levels.
3. Freeze: The Health Impact of Feeling “Stuck”
In freeze mode, the body shuts down to avoid a threat. This can happen when you feel powerless or overwhelmed by a situation. While freezing may feel protective, it can be paralyzing.
Physical health impacts of that are:
- Immobility-related issues: Being stuck, whether emotionally or physically, can contribute to muscle stiffness and low energy levels and even constipation.
- Suppressed immune function: Prolonged stress can weaken the immune system, making you more susceptible to illness.
And the Mental health impacts include:
- Dissociation: Chronic freezing can lead to emotional numbness, disconnection from reality, and difficulty engaging with the world.
- Depression: The sense of helplessness often associated with freezing is a common feature in depression, making it harder to break free from the cycle.
4. The Fawn Response and People-Pleasing
Fawning, or the tendency to appease others to avoid conflict, may seem like a harmless way to maintain peace. However, neglecting your own needs can have a profound impact on both your physical and mental health.
Physical health impacts of that are:
- Chronic stress: By constantly bending to others' needs, your body remains in a prolonged state of stress, leading to fatigue and tension.
- Digestive issues: Similar to other stress responses, fawning can trigger digestive problems as the body’s energy is diverted from rest-and-digest functions.
And the Mental health impacts include:
- Loss of self-identity: Fawning can erode your sense of self, as you may prioritize others’ desires over your own just to maintain peace.
- Low self-esteem and resentment: Over time, the act of people-pleasing can foster resentment, frustration, and feelings of unworthiness.
Healing from Chronic Stress Responses
Recognizing which stress response you default to is the first step toward breaking the cycle. Here are some practices that can help:
- Begin to notice how your body feels throughout the day in different scenarios. Do you feel engaged? Tense? Disconnected? This awareness can help you identify your stress triggers and habitual responses.
- Movement, especially aerobic exercises like running, walking, or swimming, can help discharge the fight or flight energy, bringing your nervous system back to balance.
- For those who freeze or dissociate, practices like focusing on your breath or engaging with your physical senses can help bring you back to the present moment. Try the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise: notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch (different textures), 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and1 thing you can taste.
- If you tend to fawn, learning to set clear boundaries is critical. Setting boundaries are not to force the other person to change but to help protect you. Therefore, you don’t set a boundary on them, but on you.
- It can be helpful to bring in the support of a professional therapist to help you process past trauma or chronic stress that is interfering with your current life.
Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn are natural responses to stress, but chronic activation can have a detrimental effect on your well-being. Understanding your patterns and taking proactive steps to manage stress will not only improve your mental and physical health but also help you feel more balanced, present, and empowered in your life.
By tuning into your body’s cues and cultivating healthier coping mechanisms, you can transform these instinctual responses into conscious, empowered choices.
The Christmas season often feels like a whirlwind, doesn’t it? I catch myself rushing through the days, barely pausing to savor the beauty of this time of year. Do you feel the same way? At other times, the challenges in our world feel heavier during the holidays. The hard realities don’t pause for December, and there are still people who are hurting, lonely, and in need of hope. In my Wholeness Restored Program, I talk a lot about how relational health is a vital part of our overall well-being. It’s about giving and receiving in meaningful ways—not just through material gifts. True health includes physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual wholeness. Here are three simple ways to invest in relationships this season and boost your health while bringing joy to others: Smile! Make eye contact and share a warm smile with strangers—the cashier at the store, the delivery driver, fellow attendees at holiday events, or someone at church you don’t know well. You’ll not only brighten their day but also find yourself feeling happier, too! Reach out to someone nearby. Visit a neighbor or an elderly person who might not have family around to keep them company this season. Give with purpose. Adopt a struggling family or support an internationally displaced family through a local charity. Alternatively, partner with ministries like Samaritan's Purse or Voice of the Martyrs to send gifts to children or families around the world. This could be a meaningful group activity with friends or family! If sending gifts overseas, consider including a personal letter or photo. Christmas can feel both overwhelming and lonely at times, but investing in relationships can help us find purpose beyond ourselves. It’s a reminder of why Jesus came to earth—to relate to others, bringing hope and light into a world full of challenges. So, this season, smile, visit, and give. There are people around you who need the hope you carry through your relationships.
I wonder what Henry Wadsworth Longfellow had in mind when he composed the lines, And peace on earth, good will toward men? They are familiar words to me in the song I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day , but some years the racing about—trying to cram as much activity into December as possible—is more familiar to me than peace. You too? If there is a time of year I want to buck my limitations, it is the Christmas season. I don’t want to miss out on anything. Or at least, I don’t feel like I should miss out—because I don’t want to disappoint someone. Again… you too? Here’s the thing. We can’t do it all and do it well. We can’t add more water to an already overflowing glass. And maybe that’s part of the invitation of the season. The first Christmas was full of human limits: a weary couple traveling by foot and donkey, a young mother giving birth far from home, a feeding trough as a bed, and humble witnesses with their sheep. Yet now, centuries later, we often assume love looks like capacity without a ceiling, energy without an end, and bodies without needs. We demand that our bodies continue to meet the needs of the season. We don’t allow time for rest. We feel frustrated when our energy slows and disappointed when we get sick. Or we push through sickness because we still don’t want to miss out. We ignore the need for nourishing food and sufficient sleep, and then wonder why we feel irritable and foggy-headed. We shame our bodies when the sugar cravings win. We skip exercise so we can squeeze one more task into the day. We run ourselves thin and call it commitment. We pour ourselves out and call it devotion. But exhaustion is not a gift. A depleted body cannot delight. A hurried heart cannot remember well. Embracing limitations honors the body and allows you to feel good while being truly present during this Christmas season. It means giving your physical self permission to be human—finite, hungry, tired, in need—and discovering that caring for your body actually expands your ability to care for others. When we choose: nourishment instead of only sugar-fuel, sleep instead of one more late-night scroll or wrap session, a walk instead of only a sprint, rest instead of relentless doing… …we stop fighting our design and start living in it. A well-nourished body is steadier. A rested mind is kinder. A regulated nervous system laughs more easily at Christmas lights and spilled cocoa. Presence comes naturally when we are not in survival mode. So when the bells ring this year—maybe we’ll hear them differently, as a reminder to slow down and sense the rest in our bodies and the peace in our hearts.
I woke up to our first snowfall about a week ago. I found it to be both shocking and exhilarating! Shocking because of the cold and the wind. I had only pulled my winter coat out the day before. And exhilarating because of how clean and white everything looks under a blanket of snow. Along with the snow comes warm flannel sheets on my bed, cozy sweaters, and hot baths. Baths are something I have a love-hate relationship with. I love them for how I feel during the bath. I hate them for how I feel after the bath. I sometimes feel hot and stimulated and struggle to relax after a bath. But I have been diligently working to find a way to love the way I feel after the bath. Why? Because baths are so soothing and nourishing for the nervous system! I know—a bath may sound too easy. But the science behind it is powerful. Warm water sends calming signals to the brain, relaxes muscle tension, and wraps your body in a comforting sense of support and containment. Here’s how a bath can help, depending on your stress response: When you’re stuck in fight or flight (Anxiety • racing thoughts • tension • irritability) A bath helps by: Lowering stress hormones like cortisol Slowing the heart rate and breathing Releasing tight muscles from chronic alertness → Your body finally gets permission to stand down. When you’re stuck in freeze or shutdown (Numb • disconnected • unmotivated • overwhelmed) A bath helps by: Increasing circulation and warmth Providing gentle sensory input Creating a safe space to reconnect with your body → You begin to thaw and come back into the present. I recently discovered that I was taking baths the wrong way — instead of calming my nervous system, I was unknowingly revving it up! But with a few simple changes, baths have gone from something I dreaded… to something I genuinely love. What I’m Doing Now to Make Baths Truly Calming 1. I use a bathtub water filter Did you know you can absorb more chlorine and other contaminants from one bath than from a full day of drinking water? Chlorine displaces iodine in the body, which can impact thyroid function and your body’s natural detox abilities. I already use an AquaBliss shower filter , so adding this tub filter just made sense — and I no longer smell chlorine as I soak. 2. I lowered the water temperature I always assumed hotter = better . Sure — sweating in a sauna can help detox… But when your goal is nervous system regulation , too much heat can actually overstimulate you. Now I choose a warm, soothing temperature — not too hot, not too cold. (Call me Goldilocks!) 3. I add Epsom salts Epsom salts provide magnesium sulfate — a powerhouse for calming the nervous system. Magnesium helps: Relax tight muscles Support stress hormone balance Improve circulation and warmth Aid natural detox pathways 4. I add calming essential oils I mix essential oils into the Epsom salts first so they disperse better in the water (oil and water don’t mix!). Some of my favorites: doTERRA Serenity doTERRA Balance Lavender , Roman Chamomile , or Frankincense Pro tip: Avoid “hot” oils like cinnamon or oregano — they can irritate sensitive areas when soaking. 5. I choose quiet over multitasking Instead of catching up on podcasts or reading lists, I’m letting the bath be a single-focus experience. Sometimes instrumental music feels soothing… Other times, silence is exactly what my nervous system needs. Let the Bath Be a Safe Place Supporting your nervous system in the bath is intuitive. Notice what feels soothing. Practice slow breathing. Let the warmth and water help your body unwind and feel safe again. Taking a bath might seem simple — but when done intentionally, it can be a powerful step toward healing and calm. How to Take a Nervous System–Healing Bath Dim the lights, silence notifications. Fill the tub with warm (not hot) water. Add: 1–2 cups Epsom salts 5-8 drops of calming essential oils (Lavender, Chamomile, Frankincense) mixed into Epsom salts. I like to add 4 drops each of doTERRA Serenity and Balance blends to my bath. As you lie back, breathe slowly: In 4… out 6–8 Notice sensations: warm, supported, held, safe End gently—slowly stand, wrap yourself in warmth, and hydrate This is your invitation to let your body feel held and comforted. These new body “memories” will help rewire your nervous system toward healing. P.S. If you try this, let me know how it went — I’d love to celebrate even the smallest moments of healing with you!
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Is there a connection between our childhood experiences and the health challenges we face as adults? I have a scar on my knee shaped like an “H,” a reminder of my first visit to the ocean as a child. I was mesmerized by the shells along the water’s edge, so focused on picking them up that I didn’t see a huge wave coming. It rolled me over and over on the sand, and when I finally stood, my bucket of shells was empty, and my knee was bleeding, sprinkled with tiny shells and grains of sand. That moment gave me a deep respect for the sea—one that has never left me. Years later, my knee healed, but the scar remains as a visible reminder of that day. Many childhood experiences, however, leave no visible scars , yet they impact our physical and emotional bodies. We notice injuries from accidents or falls, but what about wounds that don’t heal so obviously? Experiences like bullying, losing a loved one, growing up with a caregiver who wasn’t attuned to our emotional needs, or living with chronic family stress can leave lasting imprints that influence our health as adults. The groundbreaking Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Study , first published in 1998, linked childhood trauma to adult chronic illness, mental health struggles, and even premature death. ACEs scoring 4 or more can increase risk for heart disease, diabetes, lung disease, and more—2–3 times higher than those with no ACEs. While we can’t change our childhood, we can address how trauma is stored in the body to reduce its impact. Long before chronic disease develops, trauma often shows up as: Fatigue Poor sleep Anxiety or low mood Brain fog Digestive disturbances Steps to Support Your Body in Healing Tell someone. Give voice to your pain so it doesn’t remain trapped inside your body. “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.” (Psalm 32:3, ESV) Get to know your body. Symptoms are your body’s way of signaling that it needs care. Listening and responding to these cues can help it quiet down. Work with a professional therapist. A trauma-informed therapist or coach can help you process childhood experiences, allowing your body to release long-held burdens. Move slowly and gently—honor your nervous system first to avoid re-traumatization. Prioritize rest and protein. Sleep at least 8 hours per night. During rest, your brain consolidates memories and works to heal emotional wounds. Include at least 25 grams of protein per meal to support neurological and physical repair. Consider methylation testing. This can guide your body in detoxification, hormone balance, mood regulation, and overall healing. Work with a qualified practitioner. Look for someone experienced in nervous system health, somatic exercises, and gentle, nurturing approaches that support your body without overwhelming it. Why the Nervous System Matters At the core of the ACEs findings is this: childhood trauma shapes the nervous system , which in turn impacts every other system in the body. Supporting the nervous system is essential for healing—emotionally, mentally, and physically. Many women I work with are surprised by the transformation that begins by simply addressing the nervous system. They notice: Waking up refreshed instead of exhausted Feeling peaceful instead of anxious Having energy to play with their kids instead of sitting on the sidelines Mental clarity and focus in relationships instead of numbing out on social media Emotional stability instead of feeling victimized by moods If you suspect childhood experiences may be contributing to your current health concerns, I invite you to schedule a free 45-minute consultation . We’ll talk about your health, explore what your body is trying to communicate, and determine if Wholeness Restored is the right next step for you. This is not a high-pressure call—just a chance to connect, share your story, and explore options for nurturing your body and nervous system.
This past winter I fell off an e-bike and injured my leg, which led to tendonitis. For a while, my mobility was so limited. I was thankful to borrow crutches from a friend, but honestly, they only made me feel more restricted. Not only did my leg refuse to cooperate, but now my arms were tied up too—I couldn’t move at my normal pace or carry things around the way I was used to. I’ll be honest: I was frustrated with my body. The tendonitis felt like an overreaction to what I thought was a simple accident. I just wanted my body to heal quickly so I could get back to normal. But the longer it dragged on, the more annoyed I felt with my body and its limitations. When was the last time you thought, “I love my body”? Yeah, me neither. And limping around on a bum leg didn’t help. But God has been working on my heart and helping me uncover a lie I’ve believed for far too long: My body is a burden instead of a blessing. I tolerate the ways it embarrasses me, I get frustrated when it interferes with my plans, and I silently judge it for not meeting cultural expectations. Can you relate, or am I the only one? Here’s the truth God has been teaching me: My body is made in His image, created to protect me. Every symptom is a signal—my body’s way of alerting me to something that needs attention. When my leg hurt, that pain was actually protecting me by slowing me down and pointing to deeper damage I didn’t realize at first. The next time you find yourself viewing your body as a burden, stop and try this: Thank God for creating you in His image with a body designed to take care of you. Honor your body by pausing to listen to what it’s trying to tell you. Respond to what you hear by taking a step to nurture it. The more comfortable you get with listening and responding to your body’s needs, the more you’ll see it as a blessing rather than a burden. Yet so often, we curse the symptoms instead of blessing the body that is doing exactly what God designed it to do—protect and care for us. As women, I think we’re especially vulnerable to this lie. We feel guilty for taking time to care for ourselves, so our bodies become “burdens” that interfere with productivity, parenting, or expectations. We grit our teeth, push through, and ignore the signals our bodies are desperately sending. This is exactly why the very first step of my signature program, Wholeness Restored , addresses the lies that hinder healing. Lies shape our beliefs, and beliefs drive our behaviors—often making us feel worse. The first of my Six Principles of Nurturing is Recognize. Healing begins when we recognize the ways our bodies have been impacted—by toxins, EMFs, past injuries, trauma, chronic stress, and emotional pain. Our bodies are trying to warn us that the burden they’re carrying isn’t sustainable, and they need help to heal. If you’re tired of seeing your body as a burden instead of a blessing, I invite you to schedule a free 45-minute consultation . During our call, I’ll listen to your health concerns and the ways your body may be trying to speak to you. Together we’ll explore whether Wholeness Restored is the next right step for your healing journey. The truth is this: if you ignore your body’s signals, it will only speak louder—because it’s determined to protect you. But you don’t have to keep living this way. Imagine instead: Waking up refreshed instead of discouraged after another sleepless night. Feeling peaceful instead of constantly anxious. Having the energy to run with your kids instead of watching from the couch. Enjoying clarity and focus in your relationships instead of numbing out on social media. Experiencing emotional stability instead of feeling controlled by your moods. You can see your body as the blessing it was created to be—when you listen to it, honor it, and nurture it. It’s time to act on truth instead of believing lies. Will you join me? Will you take that next step? If you’re ready, book your free call today —I can’t wait to talk with you!
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